Second pre-Assembly gathering: Holding the tension of difference

Rev Kath Behan, Assembly National Consultant

‘Holding the tension of difference’ was the theme of the second Pre-Assembly online community building gathering for 17th Assembly members last Tuesday evening.

Following on from the first session that acknowledged we come to the community table first and foremost as followers of Jesus, unique in our individuality, experiences and faith journeys, the second session stepped deeper into uncovering both the joys and the wrestling that comes with being in community.

We like to aspire to the notion that because we all love Jesus, and Jesus taught us to love one another, then community life together will be full of harmony and understanding and transparency. And while this is truly the hope and vision of God’s people, we also need to pause and recognise the shadow side of community life that can rear its head if we’re not careful.

As the members heard personal reflections, and spent time in conversation with one another, they were reminded that holding the tension of difference is not something of which to be afraid. Indeed the tension of difference can be at times like ‘iron sharpening iron’, stretching us to become more like Jesus and challenging the weaker parts of ourselves to turn away from what can be unhealthy behaviour towards another.

The Basis of Union implores the church to dare to find ourselves located in the more vulnerable places of community interaction, where we are forced to hear the complexities of another’s journey of life and faith. And in so doing, we are given the gift of transformation in our own hearts and minds. We cannot un-hear those we are in community with, when they speak of isolation, misunderstanding, and the pain of intolerance, regardless of from where each of us comes.

This was the most commented response we heard from members as they drew closer to one another, if only for a brief time, to listen, to wonder, to sometimes feel discomfort, and to grow a deeper compassion for each other. It’s amazing what can be achieved in a very small amount of virtual time!

The members heard from Rev Seungjae Yeon (NSW/ACT Synod), a Korean migrant living in Australia for 23 years, yet still experiencing the effects of migration everyday. Seungjae spoke of the difficulties for the culturally and linguistically diverse members when trying to conceptualise the theologies, polity, ethos and values of the UCA that are in many ways just too big for those from other cultures. And yet Seungjae at the same time reflected a deep gratitude for his experience of those around him in these community spaces who stretched themselves to make space for him.

"I became less rigid and more flexible, less judgmental and more tolerant, less fearful and more loving."

The members heard from Rev Annie Baker (Queensland Synod) who grew up in a community where difference was not celebrated, and that to be accepted you had to be the same as everyone else. So many expectations and assumptions were placed upon her from a young age trying to fit in. Annie spoke of her un-learning that happened through the chaplaincy space where she experienced the freedom of learning to listen to others in contrast to what she had experienced growing up, in order to understand first.

"I was connecting with those I met as another child of God, not trying to categorise them or label them, but understand what gave them meaning, what gave them purpose. Learning to ask myself what is coming up for me in any interaction has been life-giving. Is it fear? Is it ego? Is it ignorance? Then having an opportunity to choose what I say in response rather than reacting."

Finally the members heard from President-elect, Rev Charissa Suli, that in discerning together the will of God through the presence of the Holy Spirit, there are no hard and fast rules. But the processes that the UCA uses intentionally in our meeting together, to create community with open hearts and minds as a pre-cursor to any decision-making, will never fail to assist us to discern well. Charissa encouraged members to pause and be alert to what may be going on within themselves during the meeting, and to ask themselves what resources they may need to help move them through the points of tension. And to above all be curious instead of cynical.

‘We are being community together. We struggle together, and we will wrestle, and we will find different moments of our business while gathering will be tiring, maybe even boring. But I hope it will be fun and joyful and hopeful at the same time. We will find the commonality amongst each of us, where we come together with our brokenness under the one identity that we share with God.’

While these online community building sessions have been hosted specifically for 17th Assembly members, the learnings they have brought are absolutely vital for all of our councils and committee meetings together.

Unless we can learn to hold the tensions of our differences with one another, and learn what leads each of us to feel and respond in particular ways about particular issues, we will never live out the particular call from God to be this uniquely Australian church with the bold aspiration to be ‘Uniting’, always on the way towards the promised end.

The God of creation, of new life, of abundance, of wonder, of mystery, of order out of chaos, invites each of us to be courageous with those we are in community with, daring to live from a place of vulnerability where we can be authentic to each other, and we can hold each other accountable to loving boundaries that build each other up out of love, rather than tearing each other down out of fear.

Every time we do this, we are reflecting the light of Christ in the world. There’s no greater calling on anyone than to live as though the circle of our community is always stretching wider and deeper.